Reinforce Your Boundaries — at Work and at Home
We all have people in our lives who test our boundaries. It may be your boss, that one colleague, your direct report — or even your kids. Here’s how to hold the line against frequent offenders. First, come to an agreement up front. For example, you might say, “I have to leave this meeting at 11:30, but I’ll check in this afternoon,” or, “Yes, you can take the car, but you have to be back by 10:30, so I can take your sister to practice.” When everyone agrees upon terms ahead of time, you’ll have a clear line to reference if and when someone crosses it. You can also emphasize your authority to set whatever boundary you deem appropriate. Something as simple as, “Having worked on projects like this in the past, I know that I need X amount of time to complete my tasks,” or, “As your parent, I am responsible for your safety, and I don’t think this is a safe thing to do.” Finally, ask lots of clarifying, open-ended questions before you make a commitment to a boundary-crosser. You want to gather as much information as possible without being perceived as negative. If your answer is no, say so diplomatically without over-explaining why, and offer alternative solutions. These strategies will help you manage your relationships, schedule, and emotional wellbeing — both at work and at home.
“Set Better Boundaries,” by Priscilla Claman