Make Things Right After Committing a Microaggression
It was a throwaway remark, and you didn’t mean to offend. But now that a colleague has brought the slight to your attention, you realize what you said was hurtful. So how should you respond after committing a microaggression? First, make sure the other person feels heard. Your instinct may be to defend yourself — or your comment — but this isn’t about you. You can be a good, well-intentioned person who said something offensive. Follow your colleague’s lead in the conversation, and be curious and empathetic. Offer a sincere apology that expresses gratitude for their trust and acknowledges the impact and harm your comment caused. Say something like: “Thank you for telling me. I appreciate that you trust me enough to share this feedback. I’m sorry that what I said was offensive.” Be sure to keep it short and to the point. Don’t over-apologize or try to engage your colleague in a drawn-out conversation. Finally, commit to doing better in the future. Say, “I care about creating an inclusive workplace, and I want to improve. Please keep holding me accountable.” Then, do the work of striving to be better. It requires grace, humility, and commitment.
This tip is adapted from “You’ve Been Called Out for a Microaggression. What Do You Do?,” by Rebecca Knight